Survival tactics in home#2🗡

Hello fellow survivors. Have you managed to survive since my last post? I genuinely hope so. Today, I will be teaching you all a new survival skill; Don’t perish from the mom

1. Don’t look, don’t talk

We all know that situation; when your mom tells you to look her in the eye, and right after scolds you for daring to look her in the eye after whatever you did. (Geez mom😡) So, with a very apologetic face, look at the part of the face between the bottom of the nose and above the lips. This way, it’s hard to tell if you are looking your parents in the eyes or not. About talking, just don’t talk. You just have to look apologetic. Don’t argue too deeply unless you have certainty you will win. Just don’t talk.

1. Talk the talk

Now, you can’t take cover forever. At some point you need to talk. So, what do you say? Here are some possible scenarios.

Scenario #1

Q: Why did you do that?

A: It was an accident. (sad face/tone required)

Q: I know it wasn’t!

A: But it was.

Q: Stop playing this game and tell me the truth! I want to help you.

A: Mom, I just said the truth, and because I already said it and there are no other factors behind it, I have nothing else to say.

Scenario #2

Q: You are in big trouble!

A: I am sorry.

Q: You know what you did?

A: Yes.

Q: Oh my god. What should I do with you? I am asking here!

A: I will take any punishment.

Scenario #3

Mom lectures for like forever; then just be quiet and listen.

The key to these responses are short, apologetic, and coated to look as honest as possible.

1. Walk the walk

Now, one of the most important steps! Getting out of the scene! If your mom ever stops talking for 10 seconds, during a lecture, after or whenever, that is your golden time. Waiting ten seconds is vital, because that way you don’t look like you wanna go out so bad, and gives time for mom to calm down a little bit. Say nothing, and quietly slither out. Be quiet and sneaky as possible.

That’s it for today my friends. Survive well.